http://margaretnoble.net/blog/bowed_psaltery/
Happy, but at the very same time, melancholy. The sound it makes causes me to think of sailing and the ocean. It reminds me of a town called Capitola. I lived there when I was little and it brings back a lot of fond memories. It sounds like an old man. One who has much wisdom and is is happy to give it to any one who will listen. I haven't heard an instrument like this before. Its sound is like a flickering candle light in a dark room. Faint and flickering, but tantalizingly close. However, with a candle you can see it and you know what it is. With this fascinating sound Its nearly impossible to identify by sound alone. It has the stroking voice of a violin, but instead of the melody flowing over me in waves of beautiful sound, I am simply submerged in it, drowning in it. Though it was summoned from the instrument by a mortal, he can never hope to fully understand it in all of its context.
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1. The part that captured me the most about your description was the part where you said "Faint and flickering, but tantalizingly close". I found that it was a great use of words. It really helped me picture the sound.
ReplyDelete2. The way that you said that the sound reminded you of where you used to live was very intriguing to me. The comparison was a good one that made your writing more personal. It also told me that the sound was of some importance to you.
3. The use of words were really good and it is easy for me to understand. so there is not much that i would say is necessary to improve on. maybe next time just try to put in a metaphor or a simile and it would make the writing more understandable.
-Katie Olson
Lincoln, I love when you compare the sound the violin, "It has the stroking voice of a violin, but instead of the melody flowing over me in waves of beautiful sound..." I felt in this section that you clearly expressed the sound. I would have like to see more of this as you focused a lot on the experiences that the sound made you feel. On the other hand, you did a fabulous job of selecting the words that added to your reader's experience.
ReplyDelete16/20--dcs